you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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