Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
