Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
