does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
