I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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