I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
They have beer where we have blood.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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