apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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