Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
