one might say we're banned from that church
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
