i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
