How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he thought i was a dude.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
