Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
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