I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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