Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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