I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
