first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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