She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
