...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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