Define "chronic" masturbator.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You can't just leave with hair like that
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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