wrigley field is MILF paradise
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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