Nicole vs. Life
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
