he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
