sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
