I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
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