I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
