HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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