I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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