how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
