Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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