Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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