my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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