As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
