Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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