She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
