it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
