I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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