i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
