I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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