uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
you had me at cake vodka
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
