I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
