so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My day in three words: secret purse cake
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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