Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
