69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
