Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
