Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
