Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
