I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
