Betty ford says i'm here all night
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
