I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Lo siento on account of my penis...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
