The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
