I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize