i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
