Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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