I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
