I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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