He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Randomize
