3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
