I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
