Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
