I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
