scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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