she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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