I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
